Tag Archives: Dating

Almost Doesn’t Count

(Continuation to “Lames”)

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I wish I could say that I finally have love cornered against the wall. or the fact that I’m absolutely bulletproof, but ladies and gentlemen…I am neither.

titanium

So, I take my co-workers advice and start an E-Harmony account. This will be my last and final shimmery hope of online dating. Silly me though….I made the mistake of getting a year account, which was $200! I thought I would get credited $20 per month out of my account. So much for my Loan bill….ugh…..

Two days on E-Harmony, I get a smile and a message from a handsome, Latino gentleman from Las Vegas — did I mention he is a Christian too. So now, I’m all pumped up and excited. He sends me 5 questions and I do the same. I get a message a few days later stating, “You are very beautiful and I would like to get to know you better.” I message him my phone number and I get an instant text saying, “Hi, this is Sergio*”

My conversations with Sergio turned from texting to straight up FaceTime. I finally got to see his face compared to the pictures and he looks the rapper Pit Bull!

pitbull

He was also a Christian and seemed respectful, so I’m relieved that I’m finally talking to a gentleman. Even though we live 3 hours away, we agreed that I would come out there in mid-July to see if we will work out (first date compatibility). I did not want him to come out to my town because it’s boring and absolutely nothing to do. Vegas seems way much better!

VEGAS 1 VEGAS 2 VEGAS 3

So one night, we are doing Facetime and I said, “I submitted my leave in for mid-July and awaiting approval. I am going to go ahead and start looking at hotels.” Sergio says, “Why get a hotel? You can stay at my place.” I got one of those HOLD UP….WTF moments again….ugh….why!

no you didn't

I kindly said, “I would prefer to stay in a hotel since we are meeting each other for the first time. Plus, I’m celibate and looking for something serious. I just don’t think it would be a good idea to stay at your place.” He said, “I’m sorry. Did I offend you?” I said, “No, I am just playing it safe.”

As the days went on, I noticed our conversations lessened a bit, but he was still texting (I was too), so I didn’t get worried. During my business trip, I asked, “Do you want to talk tonight?” Then, I fell asleep. I woke up to a text saying, “I called you.” I’m like, “No you didn’t. Try again.” Since I was staying in a hotel at an Army base, the reception is TERRIBLE. So for 30 minutes we tried getting in touch with each other. Now, I’ll be honest….I LOVE MAKEUP and I’m very high maintenance.

FLOWER CHILD  cat eyes

This time, I had NO MAKEUP on. I thought “bump it.” I can’t be made up all the time. I want to be honest and real with this guy. I will never look like a model 24/7.

natural 2 natural

So, when he sees me on Facetime, he doesn’t look too happy. He could not get off of Facetime any faster. So I’m thinking, “Dang, did I look that bad?”

After our Facetime mishap, I got lesser texts than before. He used to call me “doll.” I wasn’t even getting that anymore. The last text I received from him was this past Friday which was, “Good Morning.” I texted back, “How are you?” and that was it. I didn’t get a reply or anything.

So, I had a pep talk with my mom about the strange events between Sergio and I. She felt like he is not talking much over the hotel issue. I did tell her that the talks became less over the hotel comment. My Dad laughed because he knew what was up.

So, there is this page on Facebook called RTAR (Real Talk About Relationships). I posted my current situation about Sergio and wanted to know what would be my next move. I heard different replies such as, “I wouldn’t go to Vegas now.”, “He’s after booty. Leave that alone.”, “Girl, I would go by myself and ‘turn up'”, and lastly, “You aren’t giving him a chance. Maybe call him and see what happens.” I know he was currently working on a boxing project involving Mayweather and I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but something in me didn’t settle right. A gentleman on the RTAR page gave me the best advice ever!

Mr. Terrence –
Good morning Tijera, to be honest with you he sees you as an out-of-town booty call, no man with any respect, decency, or common courtesy would pull that old school move. It’s the oldest trick in the book to extend his place to you, to lessen the burden of having to spend money for a hotel room. Tijera, I have two beautiful daughters like yourself and trust me they were well educated about scenarios like this. The reason he slowed down the communication is by design and with a purpose. First one is to make you feel guilty by flipping the script on you for not wanting to stay at his house on your first visit. Secondly, this is a way for him to end the relationship on his terms. Finally, he’s trying to wait and feel you out so he can apologize for his mistake for not respecting your wishes in the beginning. Tijera, he his already showing no respect in the early stages of your friendship how can you trust him in a long term relationship? Trust your instinct and your heart, communication is the key for all aspects of life. You deserve the best don’t settle for less make these men earn your love, heart, and trust please.
instinct
So, Saturday morning, I woke up and decided to call him and try — even though deep down I knew that I wouldn’t probably here from him anymore and my gut instinct was right about everything.

k. michelle phone

I mostly don’t do this (phone call dudes or blow up their phone) and I did not get the normal “Good Morning” text I would always get from, but I needed closure. This situation was frustrating me because I felt like I didn’t do anything wrong and this was a classic game.

So, I called and said, “Hey Sergio! This is Tijera. I hope your project is going well and I we haven’t talked in a few days, so I hope everything is good with you. Hit me up when you get a chance.” Ladies and gentleman…I didn’t get a call back or text and that was my signal. Silence from someone can give you the best and ONLY answer….move on! I have so much to do, I have to carry on.

The normal reaction for me is to get down a bit, which I did because I’m just tired of games.

text

I’m in my 30’s and actually looking for something real. I’m not about sex (like I was in my 20’s or after my divorce) or treating people bad (asking for money and using dudes). I’m not the type of woman to ask about light bill or gas money and not even know the dude.

time

One thing I notice about men these days is that they say they can handle and independent, self-made woman who has her own, but deep down they feel like they are losing control or don’t feel deserving of me, which again is not my problem. I would rather rise with someone, then have to drag them all over the place. What happened to “power couples?”

I don’t deserve it
She’s just a little too perfect
She’s just a little too worth it
I don’t deserve her at all, no not at all
I only text her, man I never call
I’m still a canine at heart, I’m a dog

Company ~ Drake

drake

On the other end, I don’t need a man inquiring about booty and not wanting to get to know me. These times are definitely rough. Money and sex are the main motivation instead of love. In my personal and humble opinion, he could be talking to more than one girl. In these situations, the sluttiest one WINS! I just want something real, even though I have some days when I want to give up and just get laid. I am starting to feel that being the “good girl” and doing the right thing sometimes takes a toll. I feel like I’m finishing last.

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“To be honest I find it hard to believe that there’s someone out there that would be able to spend the rest of their life with me.”

~Rihanna

It took me a day or two to realize that I didn’t do anything wrong and I walked away proudly (again for the millionth time). I don’t have to text him constantly or get “ratchet.” Sometimes I let things get to me or think I’m not good enough. I think I have something (relationship/love) in the bag, but it slips out of my hands. You know what though? It’s his lost & his problem, not mine. I don’t have time for games & bs. In all honesty, I’d rather would of respected Sergio more if he was honest & said that I wasn’t the girl he wanted or didn’t want to wait. Instead, he went away silently and faded into the black. It goes to show you that he wasn’t man enough for me. I shouldn’t have to lower my standards or act like a loose whore to get a man’s attention.

smart

nice guy - aholes

So instead of focusing on stupid men and games, I’m taking that different “angle” and it feels good. I’m getting caught up at work & 9 classes left until my Bachelor’s degree. I just try and keep my mind & motivation on the REAL things that matter!

wednesday    baby girl focus

Hopefully one day I get to finally achieve what I want in love!

relationship goals interracial

Tijera

More 2 Life

Some days and nights, I feel the worst, and sometimes I feel at my best. Tonight though…I definitely need to get some things off my chest.

For the most part, I feel like my world has stopped; a complete HALT, which isn’t a good feeling….I dream to hustle 💯, and hustle to follow my dreams. It never seems like it’s enough for me. I feel like my hometown and current way of life is basically “checking in, but never checking out.” Can you say “Hotel California?” lol

FIRE

I work my 9-5, then do my 6-midnight shift of Youtube videos, boredom, and sometimes homework assignments that I turn in late, but all I really want is a date.

date

While I’m sitting at home drinking a glass of wine and listening to Drake all alone,

drake and drive

I wish the man of my dreams would just call me on my phone. But I guess he isn’t down for the cause…or does he even exist? I’m doing the “lookingforloveonline” surfing, but somedays….I don’t think it’s working. So I’m in celibacy/I have standards/lonely purgatory or HELL for the moment.

The world is imaginative, mysterious, and a huge place I need to explore,

dentist-las-vegas-nv2        portofino

tokyo

but my day-to-day life is such a bore and every little thing I do feels like a chore. But I definitely know that in this life….there is more to it than meets the eye. Right now, time is passing me by, which shouldn’t be happening. I can blame it on my job, my education, or even my God forsaken town, but at the end of the day, it’s up to me.

Destiny and adventure are the keys given to me, I just haven’t used them yet.

destiny-quotes-2

Tijera

L-I-F-E-….Never What it Really Seems

As I grow older, I realize that everything in life isn’t as what it seems. We go through weird phases every 5 years or so….I guess…..At the end of the day, human beings just can’t make our minds up on what we want to do. We always want what we can’t have, or expect something to be ungodly amazing, but it really sucks!

You become single, date, meet guys, and turn up, then realize you want to be married (ball & chain included), sit on the couch and cuddle to “Last of the Mohicans”, or you get married and miss the “quietness” of being single and the freedom. It seems like you can’t leave the house without a “Where are you going?” Really? I’m going to yoga and coming right back….smh…..

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You sit at home and wish you were working and making money and being productive. But 3 months later, you become employed, and six months later, you would LOVE to call in to just sleep in for 10-12 hours (yup! that’s me!!!). I’m not a morning person, and I don’t think I every will be. Getting up before or around the sun rises isn’t my thing.

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Or you hope and pray you can go to college and be educated like all of your friends and family members, but 77 credits later, you don’t want to see another text book or computer screen! I’m the type that looks forward to Accounting or Philosophy, then Week #5, I’m ready to get the heck out of there and start something new. Also, Science and Algebra kicked my butt, but I’m almost there!!! YAY!

hate college

I had a HR mentor tell me, “HR is not what you think it is. It will always be the total opposite.” So…with that being said….I love my job as you all know. I enjoy all aspects of HR (except Payroll — I hate being responsible for someone’s money), but the people sometimes make me want to pull my tracks out! I mean, HR is a “people” career. I have to be caring, compassionate, a problem solver, and a bunch of other things to appease the employees. In my last 8 months of working in this field, I’ve had things from mediations, disciplinary actions, office drama, complaints, YOU NAME IT!!! But, at the end of the day, when I defend someone because it’s the right thing to do, meet strangers at job fairs, get thank you cards from employees for kicking butt, and lastly, participate with my Veteran Alliance Employment group to help Veterans find jobs and save them from homelessness, that makes me smile.

defend

I can walk in the house, put my purse down, and lay my head knowing that I kicked some major butt today, and helped some people along the way. I’m not going to always have the best days, but I hope I can make someone’s day the best!

Things in life will never go your way, or my way, but we can just make the best of it by dreaming big, smiling, and always praying.

Tijera : )

#WERK

WERK-THUMB

So, I’m back for another writing round (ding, ding)!

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As you all know, my life is surrounded by work, college, and pretty much a boring home life (I love my folks and dogs, but it does get boring). I’m trying to take life by the horns through means of traveling, soul searching, and other things. It’s been pretty hectic these last few weeks.

My HRM (HR Manager) resigned and works for a new company, so I’ve been taking charge and handling my base and Fort Irwin (which I’m traveling to this Thursday for a job fair), Science is kicking my butt, but I have a good grade so far. One more week to go! Next week I start taking 2 CLASSES EVERY 5 WEEKS! It’s gonna hurt, but I’ll graduate by the end of this year and go for my MBA. I’m honestly burnt out with school and ready to enjoy nice quiet evenings, instead of my eyes burning at a computer screen.

As for dating….well….lol…..it’s not happening for me and I’m just chillin’. Pretty content about it all and just letting things flow. I think I have too much going on anyways for this to be happening right now in my life. It will all come in due time. For now, I chase away the married dudes and unemployed guys with a taser and baseball bat….what…I have standards you know?!?!

DATE

Celibacy journey is going well. I think I can get used to this….hahahahaha….not forever but almost 2 years of waiting is a good start! Some days it’s pleasant, other days, it’s like a “wrecking ball”. But then. I have to grab a hold of myself and ask what am I doing this for and is it the right decision? Well…it is. No drama. Check! My sanity. Check! Happiness. Check! At the end of the day, its MY CHOICE!

miley_cyrus_wrecking_ball

I’m at the point in my life where patience is EVERYTHING! I have to stay focused and have my eye on the real “prize”….eventually settling down again — with the right one. You can’t use the same tricks, cause you will always get the same results, and the joke will only be on ME!!! : )

For now, I have this “itch” for adventure….Portofino, Tokyo, Vegas, Miami, you name it….I’m trying to go. Still got to plan this Miami trip for the summer or fall and I escape to Vegas at least once a month to re-gain my sanity. I’m heading back there next month, to do some solo exploring. i went a few weeks ago and when I went over that hill, life came inside my body. I was nice to see flashing lights, airplanes, malls, and freeways. On the other end…..it was heartbreaking to go back over the hill and see….brown! My goal is to one day live there, but that is in a few years from now. But until then…..

VIVA LAS VEGAS!!!

Las_Vegas_89

Bye for now & thanks for listening!

Tijera : )

Ready, Set, GO!

August 21, 2014

track

I should be in bed right now, but I made a vow to catch up on Algebra Labs and I’m stuck on a particular topic. I started around 10:30pm and it’s right now 4am!!!

AWWWWW  BED 2  4am algebra

Yes, I’m an insomniac, but no shut eye for me yet. I have more to say….

My life has been drastically changing in the last few weeks or so. First off, I did resign from the PR internship. I enjoyed working their, but it started to take a toll on me (Algebra class) plus I feel like I need a PR internship where I have more hands on experience in Public Relations. My search is not done for that type of internship, but now I have to put the baton down.

PR

(Not this place, but you do understand right where I’m trying to go right!?!?!?!)

Also, my time with VAIN is wrapping up. I enjoyed the last few months with this company and have gained so much experience. Also, I think we have the best department within the entire company (HR WHOOP WHOOP!). The communication and teamwork was amazing. I will miss my co-workers and wish them the best!

VAIN LLC  Logo

Well…I have been applying for jobs and a particular one caught my eye, which is in Human Resources (Business Partner position); 15 minutes from my home (Edwards AFB, CA), so no commuting for me! : )

AFB  PLANES

My veteran unemployment representative from the EDD sent an e-mail about the HR position with AAFES. As for this position, I will be in charge of Human Resources matters for the entire Edwards AFB Exchange/AAFES store, which include hiring for the Starbucks, Burger King, AAFES store and other places. Also, employee relations, promotions, reprimands, and firing.

aafes

I just was getting used to being home and collecting unemployment, but I cannot sit idle for too long and those checks don’t last forever. The goal was to never stay home and collect checks. My hiatus was only going to be 4-6 months, so I can catch up with family, set my house up, and gain experience with internships. So, with that being said, I decided to give this position a shot. I prayed about it my decision and after a few weeks , I got a call from the Human Resources Manager about coming in for an interview.

When it comes to interviews, my goal is to stand out, but to not become a distraction either. I carry myself professionally, shine with confidence, and try to not look like a Supermodel or Beauty Queen (librarian is the GOAL!). I should write a post in the future about dressing and preparing for interviews…coming soon….

librarian beauty queen

It seemed the like the interviewer was very fond of me, so she called me again for a 2nd interview. This time, it was my previous interviewer and the Regional Manager, which had a serious…………

poker

I believe I did pretty well, so I sent a thank you letter and just waited. Yesterday, I got a phone call stating I got the job and I’m super ecstatic. GOD IS GOOD! I have been keeping myself busy since I left the military, but it’s time for me to get in to the workforce again.

work

I’m just waiting for my background check to come back in, which should be good. I’m not about that “Hard Knocks” life.

prison

Good news…I will still be able to attend the Fashion PR Confidential workshop in October and do the Fashion Editor Internship on the weekends.

FASHION PR CONFIDENTIAL WORKSHOP IN LOS ANGELES!!! : ) LA SIDEBANNER

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Bad news…I won’t be able to work with Project ETHOS (if they decide to call me about volunteering). Oh well….at least I’m working!

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With college and my job, I do not have time to be running around and stressing out over a man or date. I have a date with destiny every Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Mondays — Algebra or college in general.

This relationship will pay off in the next year or two…GRADUATION!!!!!  I mentioned the whole “guy” or “dating” thing because I’ll be working on a military base and around a similar environment like the Army.

army

As for military men, a lot of them are attractive, but I’m very turned off by their cockiness and misogynistic attitude. I’m not saying ALL are like this, but the MAJORITY are…#TRUE STORY! No matter what, my focus will be on better and more productive things. I know some will catch my eye, and I will definitely catch theirs, but I have more important things at hand. When Mr. Right comes, he will come, but for now, I want to LIVE and enjoy my life.

It’s a blessing to be in the position to make my own choices and do some things that I want to do. It’s more than just sleeping in during the week or looking like a beauty queen every day (well, not quite…but I do not have my boss or any superior jumping down my throat over red hair and french tip nails.) . It’s about spending time with family, returning to my “old self”, and just the smell of freedom.

freedom

I know I talk about the military a lot, but I served and did the best I could do. I sacrificed a lot of things to get where I am at today and it just wasn’t for me. I don’t know how I made it, but God’s hand was on me and He carried me through. I do not regret my decision of leaving the military. I am enjoying my family and putting the pieces together for my wonderful future!

Hopefully I can take a nice vacation sometime next Summer and maybe…just maybe…purchase a Louis Vuitton bag! It could happen!!! : )

dr lv

XOXO,

Tijera