Tag Archives: Army


July 3, 2015

I’m originally from Los Angeles, California.


Around the age of 6 or 7, my parents decided to live in the Antelope Valley, which the real estate was cheaper and a better quality of living compared to the big city. Lancaster was the first stop. As a kid, it was difficult adjusting to the educational system. Around the early 90’s, there was a lot of racism in the school system from faculty and students alike. Even when I went to private school down the line, I felt like didn’t belong. People assumed that all black people were on welfare and ignorant, while my sister and I lived in a suburban neighborhood, talked proper, and dressed very nicely.

Next, my parents decided to move to California City in 1993.


This was the first time they became homeowners. My Dad used his VA Loan, which helped out tremendously. At first, I enjoyed the country lifestyle and being able to play outside in the streets. Once I hit 13 or 14, I became highly annoyed, like I am now. I didn’t have too many friends. I was a nerd and most of my friends were military kids, so they moved away.


I used to remember traveling to L.A. with my family and being fascinated with the big city life.


I would have desires of graduating from college, owning my own home, living in the big city, and one day raising a family. I would always cry when we left L.A. because I knew what would be waiting for me in California City — no life!

Once I hit high school, my parents put me back in private school, which was a mistake (My mom and dad realized I was “boy crazy” and couldn’t imagine me being a teen mom). The school lowered their religious and moral standards, so any student was accepted. I would have girls threaten to fight me and everything. I decided to be home schooled around 10th grade and graduate early. I ended up working a few jobs such as a waitress, grocery store clerk, medical assistant, and then got laid off at my last job, which was working at a Chiropractor office. I decided right then and there that I needed some adventure and culture, so I swore in the U.S. Army in 2005 and headed out to Basic Training.


Fast forward 9 years later, I moved back to my small town last year from the Army. I had a hard time with the divorce and the hectic Army schedule. It felt nice to finally be back at home in the arms of my family.

my house

(U.S. Air Force graphic)

I also landed a job 15 minutes away from my home and get to finally live in my house after 6 years. It’s been over a year and I’m starting to feel miserable. I live 45 minutes to 2 hours from all of the cities with action. My life mostly consist of work and college, which has been getting me down lately. I don’t feel motivated at all and feel like my whole life is dedicated to working hard to make a living for myself and to maintain my independence. Some days, I want to cry or punch a hole in the wall.

When I lived in NC, I joined a Yoga and Pole Fitness class. I felt relaxed, confident, and vibrant.

pole dance embrace

(**Actual photos of my Pole & Yoga studio in NC)

In this area, the closest Yoga and Pole class is 60-100 miles away. Also, the mall was nearby, with a few other favorite stores and if I ever needed a break from Fayettiville, Atlanta, my NaNa, and “cray cray” cousin Miko weren’t too far away.


Back to my physical fitness, I have a gym membership here, but due to small town living, a lot of drama goes on. For example, I went with my mom to the gym just to hang out (I wasn’t working out). I had on regular non-gym clothes (flip-flops, tank top, and shorts). While my mom and I are laughing and joking around, a staff member that was off shift and working out comes up to me in a nasty attitude and says, “You can’t be in here with flip-flops. You need to leave.” The main reason she came up to me is because when I walked in, all of the guys were checking me out. I guessed I ruined her “flirtation mojo.” I can’t help being a 34DD and a size 0. I was born this way! One of the staff members on shift came up and started hitting on me. He even told me that I can wear his shoes so I can stay, but I didn’t want to cause any issues with him during his shift, so I waited in the car until my mom was done working out.

Next, my job. I love what I do in terms of helping out the employees and serving our military, but I do bump heads with the other management. A lot of them don’t understand that I’m a manager and very young looking. I don’t get the respect I deserve. Most of the management try to throw me under the bus or make it like I’m incompetent. Being the only African-American in management doesn’t help either.

With that being said, my job offers mobility, which means I can travel all over the U.S. and the world as a manager. I can also participate in the HR Management Trainee program and get promoted from an HR Tech to an HR Manager I, which means more money. If I do not go mobile, I will stay in my current position and once I reach my pay maximum of $21.00 per hour, i go no further. Also, I’m the only HR person there. People expect me to be in a million places at once and I put O/T in without getting paid, because its not allowed. When I went on my random business trips to Fort Irwin, i noticed that the HR Teams consist of 2-4 people. Even though the stores are bigger, the team can reach out to each other. I feel like I have no support. I don’t think I want to be the ONLY HR person for 20+ years like the last one. So if I don’t go mobile, I will stay stuck and not progress. When you don’t grow, you basically DIE — on a professional level. I don’t think I will get a raise either once I graduate from college in a few months. One option would be that I can go Civil Service, which means I can buy back my military service time and retire in 11 years. I will also make more money, and I can still travel. Or….go with another company. I even thought about deploying to the Middle East as an HR Tech (with AAFES) for 12-15 months, but they will not have opportunities until next year.

I discussed my concerns with my parents, but we argue all of the time. They say, “God has a plan for you being in this town.” or “You cannot make decisions until you pray. God might not want you to move. You need to be closer to Him and find out what you need to do.” Also, I have 2 lovely dogs and my mom says, “If you travel, they will have anxiety all over and I’m not watching them if you deploy for a year.”

Crossing out Plan A and writing Plan B on a blackboard.

I get more frustrated and angry. I believe these discussion/arguments create a big divide between my family and I hate that. I want us to get along and for them to understand how I feel. I know parents always want best for their children, but if my family really knew how I felt. I feel so defeated and discouraged. I feel like I get no support from them. Today I told my mom about the deployment idea and she replied, “YOU CAN’T DO THAT! You need to ask God and you can’t leave your dogs.” I said, “I’m grown last time I checked. You need to say ‘I shouldn’t’ not ‘I can’t.’ I can do what I want.” I’m starting to feel resentment towards my parents and my Christian upbringing. I feel like “The man upstairs.” is not understanding my situation and basically punishing me. There is always these “do not” rules and it’s getting pretty played out. I know that sounds wrong, but I feel so trapped. I couldn’t imagine residing in Cal City being His ultimate and divine plan for my life.


I would love to move somewhere like Las Vegas, where I’m 3 hours from home, but I can start over and live in a big city with more opportunities.

dentist-las-vegas-nv2  VEGAS 3

L.A. is a heck no! The traffic and real estate is so ungodly. I refuse to struggle out there.


Also, my company is in Vegas, so if an HR slot opens, I can transfer. Lastly, the real estate is cheap! I would have to sell, rent, or keep my house for when I come and visit, but it would be worth it. The best catch with my house is that my mortgage is only $500 per month and it’s a beautiful home! My sister stays with me, so I pay $250 per month for mortgage. I save a lot of money.

The last point is a love life. Some days I feel so unlucky like I wasn’t born under these stars.

sponge bob

I never had a real boyfriend growing up in this town. When I joined the Army, I got a little wild, then married, then divorced, and did some more playing around, but decided to be celibate back in 2013. I moved back here and I feel like I’m 16 all over again. I get no dates or attention. You would think that I work on a military base and that would help, but no. I guess I don’t look “plain Jane” or need a green card — or overweight for that matter. Because of the limited availability of men and my work/college schedule, I decided to do online, which I’m starting to regret.


I’ve been on Tagged, POF, and OK Cupid. Most are looking for booty or a place to lay their head. i have standards and refuse to be a “flunkie” in my 20’s, so I’m not going for it. I finally cancelled all of my accounts and started E-Harmony. I could find better quality of men and someone that wants to settle down….or so I thought. I got hits as soon as I got on, but when guys realize I’m not easy, I gets no love folks! I was supposed to go out on a date tonight with a guy in the local area and he cancelled because “Even though our chemistry is great, you are looking for a serious relationship while I’m looking for a casual thing.” Really? Isn’t chemistry the best factor? I believe if you don’t have chemistry, you have nothing. For the last 3 days, this guy has been talking about getting to know me, goals, and sharing mutual interests. But since I pulled out the celibacy card, I go out of the window. Ugh….the struggle is real. Who the heck goes on E-Harmony for casual sex? I even state on my profile my true intentions, which is celibacy and settling down. I guess people can’t or don’t want to read.

The other guy looked like a pedophile and is really weird on the phone. He claims to be a Christian, but is really weird. He has never dated an African-American woman before, so I think he’s searching for the “experience.” He wants to get married in 3-6 months, explained to me all of his disabilities, likes bondage, we don’t have much in common, and he wants to take up a hobby in “gambling.” I’m not going to risk my money and livelihood for your pleasure of Black Jack & Russian Roulette.

pony hate

Lately, I’ve been re-thinking celibacy as well. It’s so frustrating and disappointing to come home alone, sleep alone, and just do everything alone. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve gained much clarity and sanity since I started my journey in 2013, but I feel so unhappy as well. Most of my old Army friends tell me I need to get laid, but I don’t think that would solve anything. Well….maybe….I did a post awhile back about the show “Gigolos” from Showtime.


My favorite gentleman is Ash and I see the struggle most women deal with. They get stood up on dates, taken advantage of, or abused. At the end of the day, they want sex, love, and affection without the drama of being rejected. I promise you that I’ve thought about it. I know it’s a taboo subject but I’d rather pay for sex then be caught up in the friends with benefits bs. I’ve already done that and it’s not fun. Friends with benefits is non-existent.

In conclusion, I am a small town girl with BIG DREAMS! I don’t want to feel isolated or miserable by residing here. The world has so much to offer and I feel like I’m missing out on everything.


The Hustle

I thank God I am seeing better days! I can look back on my past, see my present and be thankful. I remember when I had $4 to my name and had a billion bills to pay.


So…in these types of situations….there is always a way out, and that my friend is the hustle. While I was in the Army, I would create resumes or LinkedIn profiles for transitioning soldiers. Also, the pawn shop became my best friend, even though I never stepped foot in one my entire life. I remember staying up to the “wee hours” doing resumes or pawning jewelry or video games for gas money and cigarettes. THOSE WERE THE DAYS……AAAAHHHH!!

On the other end….have you ever thought about going to the EXTREME to meet your needs? Sometimes doing certain things to obtain money aren’t good, but trust…I’ve been there. I remember one time in NC when the bills needed to get paid. I was so broke, it was ridiculous. I started to cry and have a hissy fit. My husband just left me, I’m 4,000 miles away from family, and just — miserable. So, for some odd reason….I took it upon myself to look online for jobs at strips clubs. I already took a few pole classes and had some skills, so I thought I would be good!

pole doggy  addiction

I know that sounds crazy with the fact I grew up as a Pastor’s kid and my Christian upbringing, but I honestly didn’t see a way out. My parents were doing all they could to help and I couldn’t keep asking them. I had an Army friend that would loan me money too. He was a lifesaver and I paid him back every single dime, but doesn’t asking for money get old? Thank God the gentleman’s club never EVER called me, because I would of took it in a heartbeat!!! I felt like I would of been degrading myself for some paper. But when hard times are in the “here and now”, you never think of humiliation or degradation. God closed the doors and knew I would be in worst shape if I put myself out there like that.


https://youtu.be/-fzTDCcfRgQ – Life of a Stripper Documentary P.O.P.


I always hear interesting things at my current job, but one co-worker told me how she used to be a “Sex Phone Operator” and how it made good money. I don’t judge or knock someone’s struggle or hustle, but could I do something like that? I know people have their own fantasies and fetishes, but imagine me screaming in my bedroom or office something dirty to a stranger on the phone? I had to laugh at myself, because I got a pretty good mental picture of it.


In conclusion to this blog, someone might be reading this and going through, but I promise you…THINGS WILL GET BETTER! Through all the hell I’ve endured back in 2013, the payback came in such a beautiful way. I ended up getting $40k from the Army, re-furnished my home, paid off bills, and landed a “respectable” job (HR) 3 months after I left the service. Good things happen to those who wait. You just have to be patient and keep the faith.


Tijera : )



I’ve been away for too long! OMG!

I am doing well ladies and gentleman. I’ve been on my job as an HR Tech for 30 days and it’s been interesting. Sometimes I get intimidated because I’m actually in a management position and wonder, “Am I over my head?” or “Can I handle the position I’m in?” I really love my job, but I have so much to do. Each day is never the same. One day I might be doing paperwork for a disciplinary action, and the next day I’m interviewing candidates for a job position.


I went to Fort Irwin, California (Army Base) for a few days to train, which was fun. No I didn’t hook up with anyone and get laid! The guys were hot, but I’m not feeling military men like I used to. Anyways, I learned a lot during my 2 days and I get some extra cash on my next paycheck. SWEET!

CAFTIboulders1_brown fort-irwin

With other things, I passed Algebra with a C, which I’m excited about, but I feel like my grade should of been better for the fact that I paid almost $800 in tutoring!!!! I’m not using him anymore cause he argued with me on my last day of tutoring and accused me of wanting the answers. DUDE….why would I drive 200 miles a week and pay $750 if I wanted the answers. Cheating would of been a lot cheaper…trust.

Cheating simpsons-cheating

On the the other hand , I’m back in college and taking Human Resources Management, which is up my alley. I should do well in this course.

I don’t want to jump the gun and say “I met someone”, but I think a guy at work has a “jones.” I’m glad he doesn’t work at the Exchange, but in one of the stores, which is a relief.


Next thing you know, we are talking about the Lord and other things, which is rare to find other Christians in this world.

hey girl

I think he’s sweet, but I’m not going over my head. We are just friends and I see him whenever I do. I’ll be a classy and real lady if something comes between us, and if not, I’m going to move on and enjoy my life. Nothing is guaranteed!

I’m still waiting for the Fashion PR Confidential Workshop location so I can go ahead and purchase a hotel room. I’m excited about this workshop and I’ll find out if PR is for me or not….we shall see.

fashion pr

So…these are the days of my life and I’m enjoying the ride.



Ready, Set, GO!

August 21, 2014


I should be in bed right now, but I made a vow to catch up on Algebra Labs and I’m stuck on a particular topic. I started around 10:30pm and it’s right now 4am!!!

AWWWWW  BED 2  4am algebra

Yes, I’m an insomniac, but no shut eye for me yet. I have more to say….

My life has been drastically changing in the last few weeks or so. First off, I did resign from the PR internship. I enjoyed working their, but it started to take a toll on me (Algebra class) plus I feel like I need a PR internship where I have more hands on experience in Public Relations. My search is not done for that type of internship, but now I have to put the baton down.


(Not this place, but you do understand right where I’m trying to go right!?!?!?!)

Also, my time with VAIN is wrapping up. I enjoyed the last few months with this company and have gained so much experience. Also, I think we have the best department within the entire company (HR WHOOP WHOOP!). The communication and teamwork was amazing. I will miss my co-workers and wish them the best!


Well…I have been applying for jobs and a particular one caught my eye, which is in Human Resources (Business Partner position); 15 minutes from my home (Edwards AFB, CA), so no commuting for me! : )


My veteran unemployment representative from the EDD sent an e-mail about the HR position with AAFES. As for this position, I will be in charge of Human Resources matters for the entire Edwards AFB Exchange/AAFES store, which include hiring for the Starbucks, Burger King, AAFES store and other places. Also, employee relations, promotions, reprimands, and firing.


I just was getting used to being home and collecting unemployment, but I cannot sit idle for too long and those checks don’t last forever. The goal was to never stay home and collect checks. My hiatus was only going to be 4-6 months, so I can catch up with family, set my house up, and gain experience with internships. So, with that being said, I decided to give this position a shot. I prayed about it my decision and after a few weeks , I got a call from the Human Resources Manager about coming in for an interview.

When it comes to interviews, my goal is to stand out, but to not become a distraction either. I carry myself professionally, shine with confidence, and try to not look like a Supermodel or Beauty Queen (librarian is the GOAL!). I should write a post in the future about dressing and preparing for interviews…coming soon….

librarian beauty queen

It seemed the like the interviewer was very fond of me, so she called me again for a 2nd interview. This time, it was my previous interviewer and the Regional Manager, which had a serious…………


I believe I did pretty well, so I sent a thank you letter and just waited. Yesterday, I got a phone call stating I got the job and I’m super ecstatic. GOD IS GOOD! I have been keeping myself busy since I left the military, but it’s time for me to get in to the workforce again.


I’m just waiting for my background check to come back in, which should be good. I’m not about that “Hard Knocks” life.


Good news…I will still be able to attend the Fashion PR Confidential workshop in October and do the Fashion Editor Internship on the weekends.



Bad news…I won’t be able to work with Project ETHOS (if they decide to call me about volunteering). Oh well….at least I’m working!

project-ethos-carpe-diem-featured-image Project-Ethos-LEAD-560x245

With college and my job, I do not have time to be running around and stressing out over a man or date. I have a date with destiny every Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Mondays — Algebra or college in general.

This relationship will pay off in the next year or two…GRADUATION!!!!!  I mentioned the whole “guy” or “dating” thing because I’ll be working on a military base and around a similar environment like the Army.


As for military men, a lot of them are attractive, but I’m very turned off by their cockiness and misogynistic attitude. I’m not saying ALL are like this, but the MAJORITY are…#TRUE STORY! No matter what, my focus will be on better and more productive things. I know some will catch my eye, and I will definitely catch theirs, but I have more important things at hand. When Mr. Right comes, he will come, but for now, I want to LIVE and enjoy my life.

It’s a blessing to be in the position to make my own choices and do some things that I want to do. It’s more than just sleeping in during the week or looking like a beauty queen every day (well, not quite…but I do not have my boss or any superior jumping down my throat over red hair and french tip nails.) . It’s about spending time with family, returning to my “old self”, and just the smell of freedom.


I know I talk about the military a lot, but I served and did the best I could do. I sacrificed a lot of things to get where I am at today and it just wasn’t for me. I don’t know how I made it, but God’s hand was on me and He carried me through. I do not regret my decision of leaving the military. I am enjoying my family and putting the pieces together for my wonderful future!

Hopefully I can take a nice vacation sometime next Summer and maybe…just maybe…purchase a Louis Vuitton bag! It could happen!!! : )

dr lv



To be Stranded or not Stranded

August 12. 2014

By: Tijera Slack

I bought my Scion tC back in 2006 when I was a young private in the United States Army.


My car, or Yuki, has been with me through thick and thin…LITERALLY! I’ve never been stranded on the road…..well…you will see once you keep reading…

yuki interiorcar

The first time I saw a Scion was at the mall (2005; right before I joined the Army). I was with my mom and my “dream” car at the time, was the Lexus IS 250 or the Toyota Celica. When we got out of the car, I seen this black cherry beauty and ran up to the car. I walked around it and realized this was not a Lexus, but a Scion. I rushed home and did research, on Scion, which Toyota has created. I told my mother, “I can see myself in one of these.” Little did I know, that my words would come into existence. Words are powerful; positive or negative!

As for being in the Army and my first time on my own, I was not familiar with Fort Riley, Kansas or how to be an independent lady.  I knew what independence was, but I was always under Mom & Dad’s wing for a long time. It was time for me to make some decisions on my own.

fort riley  ceremony

I remember walking from Main Post to Custer Hill, which was a great distance. It was 100 degrees + 100% humidity. I had no water, but was determined to get to where I was going, even though it was 7 miles in the wrong direction!

wrong way

No one in my unit bothered to help, so I was on my own. A nice gentleman gave me a ride and suggested that I purchase a car A-S-A-P. He did not want me to get taken advantage of. As time went on,  I got tired of being on foot patrol or guys asking me for a blow job in exchange for a ride to Wal-mart or Taco Bell. I love sex and all, but what kind of woman to do you think I am?

hooker  work for food

Maybe that’s why I try to inspire and help every where I go. It’s nothing wrong reaching out to someone who needs help or giving knowledge. I’ve had wonderful people help me along the way, but the military can be a “cruel world”, despite “False Comraderie” being shoved down your throat. I believe in reaching out, even if its my worst enemy.

I was on R&R and decided to get a car. As bad as my mom wanted me to wait, this is what I needed in my life. Having my own car screamed independence and control of my life. I do not have to depend on bitchy co-workers or thirsty dudes to get to work or anywhere else.


As for my adventures with Yuki, we went almost cross country twice (California to Kansas), cruised and drove like mad women on the Autobahn, and “Club Car” was a favorite of mine (if I didn’t feel like going in my apartment, I would just chill in my car with good music and a pack of Newports). Getting off work and listening to slow jams with my feet up was the best. This burns lots of gas though.


On a bad note, she’s been in 2 or 3 accidents and has been towed. In life, misfortune will come, but its imperative to bounce back and to keep going!

Today, I had a little rude awakening… My baby would not START!!!!


I was pulling out of my parents drive way to head home and it made that infamous “I’m dying and need air” car sound. My Dad came outside with popular frustrated look and ask, “Have you ever bought a battery.” I looked and felt so sheepish around this time. I whispered and giggled, “No….”. So he taught me a “101” class on how to jump a car. She finally started and I headed home. It’s now in my driveway and will not start, so hopefully this issue can be fixed ASAP.

I’m just glad that it was at my parents house instead of in the desert or in Los Angeles somewhere. It’s not mortifying but I guess it’s a first time for everything.



Why Can’t I Sleep Tonight? (#THROWBACK)


November 6, 2013

“To begin with, the average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at 7:30am feeling just plain terrible” – Jean Kerr

Stressed the #%$@ out (Lord forgive me for my mouth*)!!


I’m really trying to be strong and on that positivity trip, but give me a break! My cash flow is slowly diminishing & Uncle Sam (Army) just extended my military contract for 6 MORE MONTHS due to this Medical Board (MEB) process. I already have a insomniac and smoking (Newports) problem – damn…I need a break (I already said that…ugh)!!! Did I mention I’ve been celibate for a few weeks now? I promise you…IT SUCKS!


You would think I would get more “shut-eye” since I go to work @ 9am (compared to O’ Dark Thirty), but that is not the case.

“No sleep, no sex.” – Numb by P!nk    PINK  Can't sleep


I guess this is my life right now & I have to bite the bullet, but when does it get easier? I need better days and more sleep (also peace of mind). Thank God for the 4-day weekend coming up.





Retrieved from: “I Can’t Sleep” Journal (Personal Property)

Pictures from Bing Search except Kourtney Kardashian, Facebook.com, Kourtney Kardashian Page


My Personal Evolution & Rules to Fashion

July 27, 2014

While I was in T.J. Maxx shopping earlier today for clothes shopping (I didn’t start that way…I was only there to purchase 2 lamps for my living room and candles), I was wishing Alexa Chung or Tyra Banks were with me to look for outfits (lol). I needed that “Celebrity” advice.

#Viva La Fashion!!!!!



alexa chung Tyra Banks

I’m very just excited about the fact that I can express myself through my clothing and accessories!! I swear since I separated from the military, my “fashion sense” has stepped its game up! This fashion “third eye” was always there, but it was watered down with combat boots and over-sized fatigues. I always tried to be a trendsetter, but “Uncle Sam” wasn’t having that crap. Uniformity was his motto. UGH……. : (

third eye.png   uniform


I decided to make some rules for myself in terms of fashion….

fashion rules

1. I will shop at least every 3 months and by the season. This way I have clothes for all year around. I mostly do lay-a-way so I don’t get into debt with credit cards (I have enough of those already…THE DEVIL!!!).


2. Always have my face in fashion magazines for the newest trends. This is important so I don’t become “outdated”.

Lupita  rihanna

3. Clean my closet out of unwanted clothes and accessories every Fall and Spring. I enjoy giving back to the community. Plus,  I have really NICE STUFF, so someone in need or wants to shop less should my find clothes inspiring and fashionable.


4. The remaining clothing and accessories should be used to mix & match with other pieces in my personal collection. I enjoy doing this because I can experiment with different looks and make my clothing to more use than sitting on a hanger, then going to the thrift shop or charity.

As for my new collection, it’s sitting in the lay-a-way room in T.J. Maxx and hopefully in a few weeks, it will reunite with me and reside in my closet! : )